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[28 Jan 2012|10:40am] |
I have some apologies to make. I've been a bitch, I've been a pain in your asses, I know. I was having a pity party but I assure you that time is over. I took some time to myself to be alone, be a recluse and figure my shit out. I think I've done that. I have a much better idea of who I am and what I have to offer this place.
I love this place, it gave me a second change and at the time I was more content with blaming so many other things, that appreciating what I was given and who I was surrounded by.
So, to those of you that took the time to befriend me, I truly am so thankful. I'm going to be a better friend from this moment forward. I can't promise I won't be a bitch occasionally or have mini spaz outs, but at least they'll be for different reasons.
So, enough with that nonsense.
Hi. I'm Samantha, but I will respond to pretty much anything. I like to run and sing, I don't have a favorite color and I think that ants are creepy as shit. Nice to meet you?
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[05 Dec 2011|07:00pm] |
It's been a while since I wrote on here. It's been just as long since I've felt a need for interaction. I feel different. I feel betrayed. I feel like I don't know who I am, and don't care. I'm here because I have found bonds with people that I like, trust and care about but it doesn't make it any easier to stay here. I know they told me not to go to the courts, that it's dangerous for me, but I feel like a loser. I feel like there is a family out there that lost a daughter they could have actually bonded with and loved. I feel like I have a family -- maybe. Maybe I have brothers, sister... maybe they want to know me too.
I know that I can't, but it doesn't mean I don't want too. I won't. I'm almost positive that I won't.
I haven't hung out with anyone it what seems like forever. I wake up, I make my own food, I go to work and I come home... home sweet trailer. Then, I read a book or do a crossword, sometimes I play Sudoku... and then I go to bed and start the cycle all over again. Sometimes I wander the grounds at night, when I think most of you are sleeping. I feel like I did enough moping and drama-filled 'woe is me' crap when I first arrived, that no one really needs it. I'm sorry if you were one of those people. I was a confused little girl trapped in a confused woman's body.
I think I might want to go do something soon though, if anyone has anything planned and need a tag-a-long.
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[19 Oct 2011|10:11pm] |
┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
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[04 Oct 2011|09:40am] |
I am looking for someone to maybe help me with a new concept I'd like to try for a burlesque show. I want to do a mirrored act and just need someone to let me know how it looks, etc.
I set up a camera and took a picture, so that I could get a little feedback, but I'd still like some input on the actual show itself.
Picture here
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[22 Sep 2011|08:53am] |
[PRIVATE TO SELF]
Dear...
It's been almost a week since I found out that this place wasn't the place I thought it was. I had no idea I wasn't alone in this, well, I guess I still am, just not in the same way. The questions of if I'm human, or if I have powers, abilities, am I a witch or a demon. I have no idea how to process that, or how to answer it. How am I supposed to find out if I'm human or not, what my "abilities" are? I always knew I was different, I just thought I was a freak of nature. Or at least that's what I allowed people to tell me. It wasn't until I started practicing that I noticed that it wasn't just a coincidence that I could do it all.
If my parents aren't my parents, where do I get the answers?
Almost everyone has a name for what they are, or at least what their ability is. Why don't I know what's wrong with me? I don't mean, wrong, cause I don't feel like there is anything wrong with me... bah. I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore.
xoxo Sami
[END TO SELF]
So, it's interesting here to say the least. I have met, only a few of you. I wish I had met more. I don't really know what to say though. If we met and I was distant or awkward, I'm sorry. I haven't been myself and I feel like I don't really know who I am right now. I don't mean to be rude or unapproachable.
So, ice breakers...
would you rather... lick the bottom of the shoe of someone working with horses all day OR french kiss a 90 year old woman with no teeth and gingivitis?
K, now you answer and post a "would you rather" to me.
Cheers,
Sami
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